You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
