Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
