No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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