i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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