He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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