I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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