dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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