I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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