Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
