No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
