i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
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I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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