am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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