1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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