dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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