I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
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