So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
