he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
