I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
