Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
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