We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
