O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
