i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
is that a dick in a sweater?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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