We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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