why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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