Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
