Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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