Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
