It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
