this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
