It's like God shit irony all over that family
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
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It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
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please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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