Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
