Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
