Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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