just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Let's get the cat blown out
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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