after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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