even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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