he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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