Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
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