That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
