i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
