I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
