I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
last night I used snow as a chaser
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
