so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
