This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
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I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
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The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize