Your dad touched me again.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
