They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
