He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
