I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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