Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize