dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
