She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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