She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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