Define "chronic" masturbator.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
He uses pillows to masturbate.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
