Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
