And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
