Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
