he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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