remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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