why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
