She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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