dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Actions speak louder than pants.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
