this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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