her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm bleeding and have questions
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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