**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
