Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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