He asked to "fluff my boner.."
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
