You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
